Every parent of a toddler has likely had a moment—maybe in the middle of a crowded grocery store, or during an outing with friends, where their little one’s behavior made them wonder, “Is this normal?”
The truth is, the toddler stage is a whirlwind of emotions, curiosity, and exploration, and our kids express themselves in ways that can feel confusing or even overwhelming. Just when we think we’ve figured them out, they surprise us with a new habit or behavior that leaves us scratching our heads. One moment they’re filled with laughter, the next, there’s a tear-filled meltdown over a snack that didn’t go their way.
Let’s talk about some common toddler behaviors, why they happen, and how we can handle them with love and patience. These little ones may be a handful, but they’re also full of wonder and curiosity. Let’s explore what’s normal and how we can guide them through this beautiful stage!
1. Why Toddlers Behave the Way They Do
Toddlers are in a unique stage of rapid growth and learning. They’re discovering new things every day and often test boundaries to make sense of their world. But remember, their brains are still developing, and they don’t have the same ability to control impulses or emotions as adults. So, what we see as “bad” behavior is often their way of expressing something they don’t yet have words for.
Common behaviors, like throwing toys, saying “no” to almost everything, and being suddenly attached to a specific toy or blanket, are often signs of curiosity, independence, or even comfort-seeking. Introduction To Toddler Parenting
2. The Power of Tantrums
Tantrums are classic toddler behavior and a hallmark of this stage. It’s easy to feel embarrassed or frustrated, especially if they happen in public. But tantrums are normal—they’re often how toddlers express overwhelming emotions when words fail them.
Instead of reacting with frustration, it can help to understand what’s behind the tantrum. Are they hungry, tired, or overstimulated? Is there a specific need not being met? Sometimes all it takes is a little comfort, like holding them or sitting with them in a calm space, to help them feel safe and heard. Toddlerhood And Tantrums
3. Clinginess and Separation Anxiety
It’s common for toddlers to become very attached to their parents, sometimes crying or refusing to be separated. This clinginess is usually due to separation anxiety, which often peaks around this stage. They’ve come to see you as their safe space, so when you leave, even for a few moments—it can feel unsettling for them.
To ease separation anxiety, try establishing a comforting goodbye routine. Maybe a special handshake, a hug, or a quick “I’ll be back soon” assurance can help make separations easier.
4. Testing Boundaries: Saying “No” to Everything
When toddlers discover the power of “no,” it becomes their go-to response for just about anything, even things they actually want! This isn’t defiance; it’s their way of exercising control in a world where they often don’t get to make decisions.
Instead of seeing their resistance as a problem, try offering choices within boundaries. For example, “Do you want the red cup or the blue cup?” This way, they feel empowered to make choices, but you still maintain structure.
5. Curiosity and Exploration (Even if It’s Messy)
Toddlers are naturally curious and want to explore everything around them. This can mean emptying drawers, trying to “taste” random objects, or playing with things that are off-limits. While these behaviors can be exhausting for parents, they’re also a sign of healthy curiosity and growth.
Instead of limiting exploration altogether, consider creating a safe space with toys or objects that are okay for them to play with. Toddler-proofing a space can help them explore without constantly hearing “no” from you.
6. Expressing Emotions with Physical Behavior
Hitting, biting, and pushing can come as a surprise to parents, but these behaviors are not uncommon in toddlerhood. These actions usually stem from frustration, a desire for attention, or a lack of words to express themselves.
When this happens, calmly explain that hitting (or biting) is not okay and show them a better way to express their feelings, like using words or asking for help. Over time, with consistent guidance, they’ll learn healthier ways to communicate.
7. Routine and Structure: A Toddler’s Best Friend
Toddlers thrive on routine because it gives them a sense of security and predictability. Knowing what to expect next helps them feel safe, especially when so much else in their life is constantly changing.
Establishing consistent routines around meal times, bedtime, and playtime can reduce tantrums and help your child feel more settled. A simple daily schedule helps toddlers know what’s coming next, which reduces stress for both of you.
8. Learning to Share:
At this age, toddlers don’t naturally understand the concept of sharing. They’re in a stage where everything is “mine,” which is a normal part of their development. Learning to share is a gradual process and requires patience.
When they struggle with sharing, gently remind them of the value of taking turns. Use simple phrases like “It’s [friend’s] turn, then it’s your turn.” Practicing this regularly helps toddlers slowly grasp the concept.