Children absorb both their parents’ love and care, as well as the words said to them. Too often, when we are angry, we may say things we later regret. We may criticize, degrade, or express disappointment without recognizing the long-term consequences. These comments uttered when angry are like seeds planted in young children’s hearts and mind, shaping their opinions and influencing their lives. However, just as negative comments can cause harm, uplifting words can heal and uplift.
Growing up, I watched mothers say horrible things to their children when they were upset or frustrated. The statements “you’ll never amount to anything”, “Your children will do to you ten times what you’re doing to me.” “you’re just like your father/mother” were extremely common.
It’s a troubling thought, given the impact our words have on our children’s lives. As I grew older, I began to reflect on proverbs 18:21, and the words, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit..” became clearer to me that what we say, particularly to our children, carries enormous force and significance.
I recognized the significance of expressing life-giving words to my own child. Instead of becoming angry, I opted to express words of blessing and encouragement. Every time my 3-year-old does anything that may get me angry, I make a conscious decision to reply with words like “It is well” or “you are blessed.” These affirmations have had a long-term impact on her self-esteem and sense of worth.
Every morning, my daughter wakes up and shouts good affirmations about herself. She speaks with confidence, courage, and strength, confirming her individuality and potential. You’d hear her exclaim, “I’m blessed, favored, graced, bold, obedient, beautiful, pleasant, and so many more.” It’s a great reminder of how powerful our words can be in shaping how our children view themselves and navigate the world.
Here are some Bible verses that teach us about the power of our words:
- Proverbs 15:4 The soothing tongue is a tree of life but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit. Reminds us of the profound influence our words have, especially when spoken to our children. Just as a soothing tongue is likened to a tree of life, filled with kindness, empathy, and encouragement, our positive words can nourish their spirits, fostering growth and vitality. When we speak gently and compassionately to our children, we breathe life into their weary hearts, lifting them up in the face of life’s challenges.On the other hand, a perverse tongue, fueled by negativity, criticism, and deceit, can crush the spirit of our children, leaving lasting wounds. Our words have the power to shape their self-esteem, confidence, and outlook on life. Therefore, it’s essential that we choose our words carefully, using them to build up rather than tear down, to encourage rather than discourage.
- Proverbs 16:24: Kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healthy for the body. This verse beautifully captures the essence of speaking positive words over our children. Just as honey brings delight and nourishment, kind words bring comfort, joy, and healing to our children’s hearts. When we speak to them with gentleness and affection, our words have the power to uplift, encourage, and inspire them.Positive affirmations forge deep connections between parents and children, fostering trust, understanding, and a strong sense of self-worth. In a world often filled with negativity, our positive words serve as a guiding light, reminding our children of their inherent value and potential.
- Ephesians 4:29: Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” This verse offers valuable guidance for speaking the right words over our children. As parents, we are entrusted with the responsibility to carefully consider the impact of our words on their hearts and minds. Instead of engaging in negative talk or criticism, we are called to speak words of encouragement, affirmation, and love.By intentionally choosing our words to uplift and support our children, we create an environment where they feel valued, respected, and empowered to thrive. Whether it’s offering praise for their accomplishments, providing gentle guidance in times of challenge, or simply expressing our unconditional love , our words have the power to shape their self-esteem and outlook on life.
- Proverbs 18:21: Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. This verse underscores the profound influence our words have, especially when spoken over our children. Like seeds planted in fertile soil, our words can either nurture life or bring about destruction in their hearts and minds.When we choose to speak words of encouragement, love, and positivity to our children, we sow seeds of life that bear fruit in the form of joy, confidence, and growth.
- Colossians 4;6: Let your speech always be seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. This verse provides valuable insight into the quality of our words, especially when speaking to our children. Just as salt enhances the flavor of food, our words should enrich and uplift their hearts and minds.By seasoning our speech with kindness, grace, and truth, we demonstrate the love of Christ and reflect His character to our children.
With each passage, it becomes evident that God’s intention is for us to be smart in our use of words. so, if you’re a parent who has been battling to break the habit of speaking negatively about your child/children, taking proactive steps to improve your communication pattern is important. Here are some key points to consider:
- Spend time in prayer: During prayer, we admit our need for divine intervention and give our shortcomings and troubles to God, allowing Him to act in and through us to effect positive change.
- Think before speaking: James 1:19 reads, “You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” Thinking before we speak allows us to carefully select our words and communicate effectively. Rather than reacting rashly in the heat of the moment, we might stand back, collect our thoughts, and answer wisely and intentionally. This purposeful approach to communication allows us to express ourselves clearly and assertively, reducing misunderstandings and the wrong use of words.
- Positive Affirmations: Add positive affirmations to your daily routine. Begin each day with words of love, encouragement, and affirmation for your children. Repeat affirmations like “You are loved,” “You are blessed,” and “You are worthy” on a daily basis.
- Be Mindful of Your Language: Pay attention to the words you use when speaking to your children. Avoid negative language, criticism, or harsh tones, and instead, choose words that uplift, encourage, and inspire them.
- Be Present and Engaged: Take the time to truly listen to your children and engage in meaningful conversations with them. Show genuine interest in their thoughts, feelings, and experiences, and offer guidance and support as needed.
Speaking the appropriate words to our children is really important and beneficial to their well-being and growth as It helps boost their:
Positive Self-Esteem: Affirming comments from parents can increase a child’s self-esteem and confidence. When children get continuous encouragement and support, they internalize positive views about themselves and their skills.
Emotional Resilience: Reassurance and affirmation can boost children’s emotional resilience, helping them face problems with confidence and hope. When faced with adversity, they are more likely to persevere and recover resiliently.
Healthy Relationships: The words parents say influence how children perceive themselves and others. Positive affirmations promote empathy, kindness, and respect, which provide the groundwork for healthy relationships with family, friends, and peers.
Sense of Identity: By using affirming and empowering language, parents help their children develop a strong sense of identity and purpose. Positive reinforcement encourages children to accept their unique characteristics and abilities, which leads to increased self-awareness and fulfillment.
Academic Success: Encouragement and praise from parents can inspire youngsters to thrive academically. When children feel encouraged and appreciated, they are more likely to approach learning with enthusiasm and dedication, resulting in higher academic achievement.
Responsible behavior: Positive reinforcement promotes desired behavior while reinforcing essential values like kindness, honesty, and accountability. When children hear kind words and are recognized for their good deeds, they are inspired to continue acting responsibly.
Emotional regulation: Words of consolation and encouragement can help children regulate their emotions and deal with stress. When parents provide a supportive and nurturing atmosphere, children feel more safe and are better able to manage their emotions.
Speaking positive words over your children requires intentional action. I recall a time when my daughter started school later than her peers, and her teacher would often highlight this delay as a challenge. However, I was determined not to let negative words shape her potential. Instead, I made a concerted effort to affirm her intelligence and abilities every day before she left for school. I would reassure her, saying, “You’re smart, you’re intelligent, and you have an extraordinary amplitude of comprehension. You can do all things.” And the results speak for themselves—she’s thriving academically today. This experience underscores the incredible impact of speaking positivity into our children’s lives.
If you’re unsure of what to say to your child, here are 🔟 words of affirmation you can use to uplift and encourage them:
1. You are the blessed of the Lord.
2. You are wonderfully and beautifully made.
3. You have a calm and sound mind.
4. You are highly favored and graced.
5. You are special.
6. You are bold.
7. You are kind and loving.
8. You are God’s delight.
9. You are pleasantness.
10. You are strong and courageous.
These affirmations can help instill confidence, self-worth, and a positive self-image in your child.
I understand how tough it can be at times. Being a mom is like having a full-time job that demands our complete focus—body, soul, and mind. It’s natural to feel stressed out and overwhelmed, which can sometimes lead us to react or speak in ways we later regret.
Instead of letting out a curse or negative word, uttering a simple “It is well” can make all the difference. It’s a small shift that can bring about big changes in our children’s lives and in our own hearts.
So, mama, when everything seems out of control, take a deep breath. Remind yourself of how powerful your words are. Instead of reacting impulsively, make a conscious decision to speak words of peace and positivity into Your children’s life. After all, our words have the ability to shape their world and set them on a path toward a bright and exciting future.
I’d love to hear from you. What words of affirmation do you use with your children? Feel free to share in the comment section below. Together, we can inspire and uplift each other on this beautiful journey of motherhood.