Parenting is filled with countless decisions, from what school to send your child to, to how much screen time they should have. But among all these decisions, the values we teach our children from a young age may be the most important of all.
As parents, we all want to raise children who are kind, confident, and capable of making good choices. One piece of wisdom that has guided parents for generations is the well-known proverb:
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
This timeless advice reminds us that the lessons and values we teach our children early in life shape who they become as adults. Let’s explore what it really means to “train up a child” and how we can raise confident, responsible, and kind children through intentional parenting.
What Does It Mean to “Train Up a Child”?
Training a child isn’t just about setting rules or correcting them when they make mistakes. It’s about guiding them in how to think, feel, and behave so they grow into responsible and kind adults. Here are some key ways to do that:
1. Be a Good Example
Children learn more from what they see than what they hear. If you’re kind, patient, and honest, your child will naturally pick up these traits. They watch how you handle stress, how you treat others, and how you respond to challenges — and they will often copy those behaviors.
If you want your child to be respectful and honest, show them what that looks like in your own actions. Being a good example is one of the most powerful ways to teach values.
2. Use Everyday Moments to Teach
You don’t have to wait for a big moment to teach your child a valuable lesson, life gives you plenty of opportunities.
If they lose a game, teach them about handling disappointment.
If they see someone being kind, talk about the importance of helping others.
If they make a mistake, help them understand how to fix it and why it matters.
Everyday moments like these help shape how your child views the world and responds to it.
3. Set Boundaries and Routines
Children feel more secure when they know what to expect. Setting consistent routines, like bedtime, meal times, and screen time limits helps them understand structure and responsibility.
Clear boundaries teach them what’s acceptable and what’s not. When they know the rules and the consequences, they’re more likely to make better choices. Praise them when they follow the rules and guide them with patience when they make mistakes.
4. Encourage Independent Thinking
As children grow, they need to learn how to make their own decisions. Encourage them to think through their choices rather than always telling them what to do.
Ask them, “What do you think is the right thing to do?”
Guide them through difficult situations, but let them make the final choice when possible.
Help them understand the consequences of their actions so they learn to make better decisions over time.
This builds confidence and helps them handle peer pressure and life’s challenges more effectively.
5. Be Mindful of What They’re Exposed To
Children are heavily influenced by what they see and hear, whether it’s on TV, social media, or through friends.
Monitor what they watch and listen to, making sure it aligns with the values you want to teach.
Encourage friendships with children who have positive values.
Talk to them about the content they consume and how it makes them feel.
By guiding their environment, you help them develop a stronger sense of right and wrong.
The Role of Faith
For many families, faith plays a big part in shaping a child’s values. Taking your children to church, reading scripture together, and involving them in spiritual activities can help them understand moral values like kindness, compassion, honesty, and forgiveness.
Faith gives children a sense of purpose and provides them with a moral compass to guide them through life. Instilling these lessons early helps them grow into grounded and emotionally balanced adults.
Challenges in Parenting
No two children are the same, and what works for one may not work for another. Every child has a unique personality, learning style, and way of processing emotions.
It’s important to adjust your parenting style based on your child’s individual needs while staying consistent with the core values you want to teach. Flexibility allows you to meet them where they are emotionally, while consistency helps them feel secure.
Simple Steps to Teach Values
1. Keep Communication Open
Encourage your children to talk to you about anything, from school problems to personal feelings. When they feel comfortable opening up, they’re more likely to seek guidance when they need it.
2. Spend Quality Time Together
Make time for family meals, weekend outings, or movie nights. These shared moments create strong bonds and give you opportunities to teach through conversation and example.
3. Create Learning Opportunities
Take them to museums, parks, or community events. Teaching them about different cultures, nature, and society helps them develop curiosity and empathy.
4. Teach Empathy
Help them see the world from someone else’s point of view. Encourage them to be kind to classmates, share with siblings, and offer help when they see someone struggling.
5. Handle Mistakes with Patience
When your child makes a mistake, don’t shame them — guide them. Help them understand what went wrong and how they can handle it better next time. This builds trust and teaches them problem-solving skills.
Why Early Guidance Matters
The proverb “Train up a child in the way he should go” reminds us that early guidance is key to raising confident and responsible adults. The lessons and values you teach today will shape how your child responds to life’s challenges tomorrow.
Parenting isn’t about being perfect — it’s about showing love, setting clear expectations, and being present. When you teach your children with patience and consistency, you give them the tools they need to thrive.
Conclusion
Parenting is not always easy, but the values you instill in your child today will guide them for a lifetime.
By leading with love, teaching through example, and creating a strong foundation of faith and moral guidance, you help your children grow into kind, confident, and capable individuals.
You may not see the results right away, but every lesson, every conversation, and every act of kindness shapes the person they will become. Stay patient, stay consistent, and remember, the seeds you plant today will bloom in their future.