There is a quiet ache in every woman’s heart, a longing for the kind of friend who remembers, who shows up. We crave those deep connections where conversations flow effortlessly, where silence is comfortable, and where we feel truly seen.
We’ve all been there, scrolling through our phones, waiting for a text that doesn’t come, or feeling disappointed when a friend forgets to check in. we notice when someone forgets our birthday, we keep mental tallies of who reaches out first.
But when was the last time we were the ones to send the unexpected “thinking of you” text? When did we last show up for someone without being asked? It’s easy to notice when others don’t show up for us, but how often do we pause and ask: Am I the friend I wish I had?
Friendship isn’t just about what we receive; it’s about what we give. The truth is, meaningful connections thrive on reciprocity. If you long for deeper, more supportive friendships, the best place to start is by becoming the kind of friend you’d love to have.
1. The Mirror Test: Are You Who You’re Looking For?
Think about the qualities you value most in a friend, loyalty, honesty, thoughtfulness. Now, ask yourself: Do I embody these traits?
If you want friends who check on you, are you checking on them?
If you appreciate encouragement, are you offering it freely?
If you value reliability, are you keeping your promises?
Friendship is a reflection. The energy you put out often finds its way back to you.
2. Small Actions, Big Impact
You don’t need grand gestures to be a great friend. Often, it’s the little things that matter most:
A simple “How are you, really?” (and listening to the answer)
Remembering the small details (like their big meeting or their birthday)
Showing up in tough moments (even if it’s just with a meme to make them laugh)
These acts of kindness create ripples, they remind others they’re seen and valued.
3. Let Go of Scorekeeping
It’s natural to notice when friendships feel one-sided. But if you’re constantly keeping track of who texted last or who forgot your birthday, you’ll miss the joy of giving without expectation.
Instead of thinking, “They never reach out first,” try: “Maybe they need me to take the lead this time. You might be the lifeline someone didn’t know they needed.
4. Embrace Imperfect Friendships
No friend is perfect and neither are you. There will be missed calls, canceled plans, and seasons when life gets in the way. What matters is showing up when you can and extending grace when you can’t.
5. Start Today
You don’t have to wait for someone else to make the first move. Be the friend who:
Initiates the plans (even if it’s just a virtual chat)
Celebrates their wins (without comparing them to your own)
Offers support without waiting to be asked
The Friendship You Want Begins With You
The law of reciprocity is real: we often receive what we’re willing to give. If you want deeper connections, be the person who listens, remembers, and shows up, not because you expect something in return, but because it’s who you choose to be.
So today, send that text. Make the call. Be the friend you’d love to have.
The beautiful thing about kindness is that it has a way of circling back, sometimes when you least expect it, but always when you need it most.
What’s one small way you can be a better friend this week? Share below, let’s inspire each other!
