As a new mom, I remember my first tough night alone with my newborn. My mom had just left, and my baby wouldn’t sleep.
I tried singing, rocking, and even praying, but nothing worked. My husband and I were exhausted, wondering why our baby wouldn’t sleep.
Now, after many sleepless nights and some peaceful ones, I know every baby has their own sleep journey.
If you’re up at 3 AM with a wide awake baby, you’re not alone. This guide will help you understand what to expect and give you hope.
Newborns (0-3 Months): Just Getting Started
Newborns don’t know day from night. Their tiny stomachs need food every 2-3 hours, so they wake often.
Sleep: 14-17 hours a day, but some need 11-19 hours. Sleep comes in short chunks (30 minutes to 3 hours) with no set pattern.
What’s Normal: Grunting, wiggling, or making noises during sleep is common. They have lots of “active” sleep, which looks restless.
Tips: Don’t expect long sleep yet, this stage is about keeping your baby fed and safe. At night, use dim lights and soft voices to make it boring. Notice when your baby seems sleepy to plan a routine later.
Good to Know: Every baby is different. Some sleep more or less, and that’s okay if they’re growing well.
3-6 Months: Small Steps Forward
Around 3-4 months, babies start to develop a body clock, so sleep gets a bit better for some.
Sleep: 12-15 hours a day, including 3-4 naps. Some babies sleep 4-6 hours at night, but others wake every 3-4 hours, especially if breastfed (breast milk digests faster).
What’s Normal: About 10-20% of babies sleep 6+ hours by 6 months, but frequent waking is still common. Naps start to follow a loose pattern.
Tips: Start a simple bedtime routine, like bath, milk, and a lullaby. Watch for sleepy signs (yawning, rubbing eyes). A bedtime of 7-8 PM often works best. Talk to your doctor about night feedings if you’re unsure.
Good to Know: If your baby still wakes often, it’s normal. Breastfed babies may need more night feeds than formula-fed ones.
6-9 Months: Longer Sleep Possible
By now, many babies can sleep longer because they eat enough during the day. But some still need night feeds.
Sleep: 12-15 hours a day, with 2-3 naps. Many babies sleep 6-8 hours at night, and some manage 8-10 hours. “Sleeping through” often means 6-8 hours, not a full night yet.
What’s Normal: About 60-70% of babies sleep 6+ hours by 6 months. Separation anxiety (wanting you close) can start around 6-8 months, causing wake-ups. Growth spurts or teething may also disrupt sleep.
Tips: Stick to a bedtime routine every night. Make sure your baby gets enough food during the day. Avoid letting them get too tired, as it can make sleep harder. Check with your doctor if you think night feedings can stop.
Good to Know: Some healthy babies, especially breastfed or smaller ones, may still need 1-2 night feeds until 9 months. That’s okay if your doctor says they’re growing well.
9-12 Months: Getting Closer
Most babies can sleep through the night (6-8 hours or more), but some still wake now and then.
Sleep: 11-14 hours a day, with 2 naps (2-3 hours total). Many babies sleep 10-12 hours at night, though some wake briefly and settle back.
What’s Normal: About 70-80% of babies sleep through the night by 12 months. Separation anxiety often peaks, making babies clingy at bedtime. Teething or learning new skills (like crawling) can cause temporary wake-ups.
Tips: Keep bedtime and nap times the same every day. Make sure the last nap ends 3-4 hours before bedtime to avoid trouble falling asleep. Comfort your baby during separation anxiety, but keep the routine consistent.
Good to Know: “Sleeping through” may include short wakings where babies settle themselves. If your baby still wakes often, it’s usually normal but talk to your doctor for advice.
12+ Months (Toddlers): New Challenges
Toddlers sleep well most nights but may test bedtime rules or wake early as they grow more independent.
Sleep: 11-14 hours a day, with 1-2 naps. Most switch to 1 nap between 12-18 months. Night sleep is usually 10-12 hours.
What’s Normal: Some toddlers say “no” at bedtime or wake early (like 5-6 AM). This is common as they test limits or their body clock shifts.
Tips: Use a strong bedtime routine (like brush teeth, story, sleep). An early bedtime (7-8 PM) helps prevent crankiness. Be patient with resistance, stay calm and consistent.
Good to Know: If your toddler wakes early, try a dark room or adjust bedtime slightly. Sleep needs vary, so some may need a bit more or less than 11-14 hours.
Why Babies Sleep Differently
Every baby is unique, so sleep varies. Your friend’s baby might sleep 10 hours at 4 months, while yours wakes often at 10 months. That’s normal! Here’s why:
Personality: Some babies are naturally calm and sleep better, while others are more sensitive and wake easily.
Feeding: Breastfed babies may wake more often because breast milk digests faster. Formula-fed babies sometimes sleep longer stretches.
Sleep Space: A dark, quiet, cool room (68-72°F) helps sleep. Noise or light can wake babies.
Health: Reflux, allergies, or teething can make sleep harder. Check with your doctor if you suspect these.
Growth and Skills: Growth spurts or learning (like rolling or walking) can cause short-term sleep changes.
Parenting Style: Co-sleeping, cribs, or sleep training can affect sleep patterns.
When to Ask for Help
Most sleep issues are normal, but talk to your doctor if:
Your baby snores loudly or has pauses in breathing during sleep (could be sleep apnea).
Your baby seems very tired even after enough sleep time (might be a health issue).
You feel sad, anxious, or overwhelmed from lack of sleep (your mental health matters).
Sleep problems are causing big stress for your family.
If sleep troubles last a long time past 12 months, a pediatrician or sleep specialist can offer personalized advice.
Final Thoughts
Being a good parent has nothing to do with how quickly your baby sleeps through the night. Every baby has their own timeline, and that’s perfectly normal.
Whether you choose sleep training, safe co-sleeping, or just getting through each night, trust that you’re doing what’s best for your family. With patience and consistency, your baby will sleep through the night.
Those late-night wake-ups can feel like they’ll last forever, but they won’t. Keep going,you’re doing an amazing job, and those restful nights are coming!
